Fantasy Careers

Hillary tagged me with this a while back and I am just now answering it. List five fantasy careers.

1. Relief pitcher, New York Yankees. I'd take pretty much any pro baseball job (commissioner would be nice), but this would be the #1. The closer is just such a badass role: you come in, strike a guy out, go home.

2. Owner of a small publishing company (a profitable small publishing company--a real fantasy). You publish whatever you want, it's successful, maybe typeset a few crazy designs, money is no object for PP&B (paper-printing-binding). Basically Dave Eggers.

3. Owner of a malt whisky distillery on the Isle of Skye or Islay. Maybe operate a small B&B and pub next door for the tourists, send bottles of small-batch to my friends at the holidays, tend to the peat...

4. Sultan of Brunei.

5. Sovereign Grand Commander of the Southern Jurisdiction of Scottish Rite.  "The Sovereign Grand Commander is the highest ranking officer of the Supreme Council and the chief executive and judicial officer of the Rite within this Supreme Council’s Jurisdiction. He is the representative of the Supreme Council when that Body is not in session and is invested with general powers of supervision and administration everywhere within its Jurisdiction." It's pretty much a full-time job (currently occupied by Ronald A. Seale).